Unchained Coaching and Counseling: What Do You Need To Let Go Of?

You've probably heard this story:

Two Buddhist monks are making their way to their monastery. Along the way, they come to a river where there is a lady, distressed because she is unable to cross safely by herself. One monk picks her up and carries her safely across the river, where he sets her down carefully and wishes her a good journey. The two monks continue on their way in silence. Eventually, they reach their destination. The second monk cannot contain his anger any longer. "How could you do that? We are forbidden to touch women!" The first monk replies calmly, "Oh, that's what has you so upset? But I put her back down hours ago. Why are you still carrying her?"

Here are some take-away points from this example:
• The things we still carry can keep us from focusing on what's truly important and from being the best we can be.
• Letting go might require forgiveness or acceptance.
• Whatever you're carrying probably hurts or bothers you more than anyone else.
• Letting go doesn't mean condoning a situation or behavior, it means simply, letting it go so that we are free to use our energy on other things.
• There is no one right way to let go, as long as you're willing.

The things that are hardest for you to let go of are usually the things you most need to stop carrying! If you aren't ready to put them down just yet, that's ok. Just list them. Think of the things that you carry with you ... and then think about why you're still carrying them.

You know you'll benefit from letting them go. But you obviously have reasons for continuing to carry them. Be honest, there must be a benefit or you wouldn't still be doing it! If you really can't think of a benefit, ask yourself what you could possibly gain from hanging onto whatever it is. And prepare yourself: it's probably a very primitive, selfish, immature gain. Hanging on might mean you don't have to accept responsibility. It might mean you don't have to face your own faults. Maybe it allows you to save face or avoid dealing with something uncomfortable.

I encourage you to take a deep breath and start writing, examine the things you carry, and the reasons. And then I hope you have the courage to set them down and allow healing to begin.