How to Set Goals ... And Fail (Part 2)

So, a few months ago, a relative was talking to me about all the life changes he wanted to make. He wanted to go back to college, re-up his pilot's license, find a girlfriend, stop smoking, and maybe take some steps to improve his general health (high blood pressure and diabetes).

He had time off work coming up - about a week - and figured he could check one task off his list each day. ROFLMAO doesn't begin to cover my reaction. Well, my inner reaction, anyway. I've discovered that when you are a professional anything, except maybe a podiatrist or dermatologist, nobody you know ever considers what you might have to offer. So I knew he wouldn't ask me for any input, and I knew that whether I offered it or called him an idiot, it wouldn't matter.

So I let him start his way. On day 1, he realized that "going back to school" wasn't something he could make happen in one day. He had to deal with financial aid paperwork (please allow 60-90 days), get transcripts together (please allow 30 days), and figure out what courses he could take, that he wanted to take, that would fit with his work schedule. He moved on to getting his license renewed. A phone call revealed it would take several flights - dozens of hours - in a plane, at his expense. That wasn't within the budget at all. The whole girlfriend idea began late on day 1, with him getting himself registered on a two-bit dating website, and spending the rest of the night surfing through photos.

In short, no progress. Day 2 wasn't particularly productive, nor was day 3. On day 4, it occurred to him that biking and walking might be good exercise, so he took a 15 minute bike ride. It didn't seem to have an immediate effect on his blood sugar, so the bike went back into the garage to gather dust.

You get the idea.

But more importantly, do you see how he set himself up to fail?

He allowed himself to be intimidated by the whole, big goal instead of the small steps he could easily do one at a time. He got impatient and lost focus of what was most important - making progress. Then, when he didn't see immediate results, he lost all motivation.

Now, most of us, by now, are capable of setting goals in a much more effective way. But this experience can still happen. We have to remember that even small steps are still steps - they count! We have to remember to keep our focus on the goal, not the hassles or distractions. And that's where a coach is so helpful - reminding you of your purpose and keeping you motivated and focused.

If you need me, you know where to reach me.