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Don't you hate those moments when it seems like the universe is conspiring against you? We all have those. Thankfully those times are relatively brief and few. Then we're back on our feet.
For others, it doesn't happen like that. It isn't that the universe is always aligned against them, but on the other hand, they're never quite standing on their own feet, either! That happens because they have no sense of power over their own lives.
Occasionally, life experiences bring people to a phase like this, but with a little time it's over and they move past it. But some people just seem to be stuck here. If you're stuck feeling powerless, here are a few possible reasons:
• You put lots of people on pedestals. They're just people, but you have an appreciation that's uncomfortably near worship. They can do no wrong, but when they don't do what you want, you've put yourself in a position of not being able to do anything about it. And in the meantime, since you've made them excessively (and falsely) perfect, you've made yourself excessively flawed and unworthy by comparison. On top of all that, if it's someone you know, you're giving them a lot of room to manipulate you (and maybe others) by constantly feeding their ego, making them think they're better and more important than they (and you) are.
• You willingly join a group that thinks for you. You let others make your decisions for you. Belong to a cult? Fringe religion? Hardcore network marketing? Signs of having sacrificed the right to make your own decisions. Many otherwise intelligent and confident people are willing to trade that for a sense of purpose and belonging. Is it worth it?
• You imitate others, in terms of fashion, career, lifestyle, attitudes, thoughts ... anything. Why are you afraid to express yourself? You were uniquely and wonderfully made. Only you have your set of talents and experiences. You can learn a lot by copying others, but only to a point. And what makes you so sure that those you imitate are those who a) know best about b) what's best for you? Shouldn't you be the authority on you?
• You ignore your own intuition. The "gut" reactions come from the limbic system - the whole "fight or flight" response - in your brain. The limbic system is the part that's the most keyed in to your senses. It's a really primitive system, but amazingly effective. Try ignoring the new-and-improved, more high-tech ego part of your brain. That part tries to help you avoid fear (and other unpleasantries like embarrassment or a sense of impending non-physical danger) by using denial. You may not be aware of what you're aware of, but your intuition is. Trust it once in a while, because it's nearly always right.
• You think fate controls your life. I'm not talking about faith in a higher power. Some people truly believe their lives are completely and randomly pre-destined, and there's nothing they can do to change, so it's pointless to take personal responsibility. What a lovely excuse.
What can you do? First, you aren't powerless. Even in these extreme circumstances, you have a lot more control over your life than you think. You decide which breakfast cereal to buy, when to go to the bathroom, which pen to use. Little things, yes, but baby steps are still steps. And just like babies grow to take bigger steps, you can, too.
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