Letting Others Do Your Thinking For You?

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Aka, mind control. Yep, the conspiracy theorist's dream - except it's a reality. People have argued this with me. "Wait," they say, "that's not mind control." Really? What do you call it when you give someone else control over your thinking?

In a previous post, I mentioned that members of fringe religions, network marketing maniacs, and cult groupies are all probable victims. Apparently I stepped on a few toes with that comment. So I'll explain it here and let you decide for yourselves.

I'm using Steve Hassan's BITE model of thought control. BITE is an acronym standing for Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotion - all aspects of mental processes that someone else can control.

Behavioral Control

• Is your wardrobe or hairstyle restricted in any way, or are certain styles or even colors highly recommended? Is "proper" attire subject to change? Is there a physical "ideal"?
• Are there dietary restrictions, suggestions, or guidance?
• Are you discouraged from socially associating with anyone "outside"?
• Are you expected to be available on-call, for excessive unpaid work, or to invest large amounts of time - especially to the extent that you have no free time?
• Are you expected to spend a lot of time with another particular person?
• Are there a lot of "suggestions" about who the perfect friend/spouse would be?
• Are you expected to always act as a representative in public and private life?
• Are you financially dependent? Do you need to ask permission for large expenditures?
• Do you regularly report thoughts, feelings, successes or failures to a superior?
• Is there a need for obedience?

(This category is the shakiest, because we willingly and intentionally alter our behavior in certain situations. So, if you're trying to get or impress a date or new boss, items here don't count as mind control! If this is the status quo for a certain person or group in your life, that's another story.)

Information Control

• Is information distorted or always changing to make it more acceptable? Is it twisted to make it align with agendas or policies?
• Is information deliberately withheld from you at times? Is it kept from others who aren't involved?
• Are there questionable ethics or downright lies when dealing with others who aren't involved?
• Are you discouraged (or prohibited) from seeking information about the person/group from outside sources?
• Are you forbidden to communicate with certain people?
• Is your access to media limited, or heavily supplemented by what you're "supposed" to read?
• Are statements from others taken out of context or misquoted to support the person or group?

Thought Control

• Have you started thinking as "us versus them"?
• Have you internalized the person's or group's version of "truth" as an absolute truth? Or can you still believe in alternatives?
• Are you encouraged to use loaded language or buzz words?
• Are you taught to use thought-stopping techniques (circular reasoning, changing the subject, repeating certain phrases) to return to safe ground when talking to outsiders?
• Do you use denial or rationalization to avoid facts that don't mesh with where you're at?
• Do you sometimes feel that you've done everything that's been asked, but it's not working, so the problem must be you?
• Are you threatened or punished if you ask the wrong questions or make a critical observation?

Emotion Control

• Is there an excessive application of guilt? Are problems always your fault? Are you threatened with exposure?
• Are you afraid to think for yourself? Are you unworthy of something?
• Is there no legitimate reason to leave? Would you be seen as weak, seduced, undisciplined, evil, or under some other influence?
• Do you seem to have more extremes of emotion? More highs and lows?
• If a group, are those who leave shunned? Do you fear being rejected by the group?
• Can you imagine happiness or fulfillment outside this relationship? Is it possible to reach the same result on your own?

WAIVER: I repeat, this is just a model. (And Mr. Hassan's model isn't without criticism. But it does a good job of showing the ways in which your thoughts can be controlled by others.) These questions aren't all-inclusive and there are probably all kinds of exceptions. This is just a list of very common ways other people (and groups) get you to let them think for you. There's no scoring, except that obviously the more that apply, the more you want to be careful and maybe consider getting help and getting away from the controlling person or group.


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